Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Imaginary Babies

I sit by three young fathers at work. They got in a pretty hilarious beautiful baby competition the other night. (That's how accountants get wild working long hours.) Each man very earnestly brought their best baby pictures for me to judge, and I very earnestly avoided making any real judgements. They really were all cuties, but there was a clear winner. He was a heartbreaker. Beautiful dark eyes, sweet face and juicy, chubby cheeks. The event got me thinking about how I never think of my babies. I used to. But I can't see or imagine babies. Only kids. Well, no, I do sometimes think of abstract babies who are not very cute and bawl and spit up continuously and grow into mutant looking children with mediocre personalities, who I will love anyway. I told H about my thoughts. His response "What if we have a beautiful baby, with a really great personality?" We drove in silence for a few seconds while we both pictured that one. "It is less painful to imagine a maggot-baby," I said. "Yes", H agreed. We drove on in silence, probably thinking of traffic.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Mutant looking children with mediocre personalities are beautiful children with fantastic personalities in the eyes of their parents. Minnie has a full fledged unibrow and I think she is the most beautiful baby in the world. Andrew has a square head and an extra tooth and to me it just adds to his cuteness. I doubt your baby could be anything but beautiful but if she isn't...you will never know.

Jennifer said...

Don't listen to that crap. I know which of my kids is weird looking - Gabe. And Charlotte was a funky looking baby, and I knew it. Claire has been gorgeous since day one, and she's got the attitude to prove it. Go ahead with your maggot-babies! You'll be ecstatic when they are born perfectly stunning. And Sarah failed to mention that when she was pregnant with Madison she prayed the entire time that Madison wouldn't have Angelo's nose. True story.

Sarah said...

You are such a liar. You say Gabe is weird looking but you think he is absolutely beautiful. You are not fooling anyone. And I did pray over Madison's nose but Maryalice got it and it is my favorite thing about her.

Jennifer said...

See, Natalee, you'll be too busy as a crazy-ass mom to know if it's your kid's head or butt.

Court said...

You will have very beautiful, non-imaginary babies very soon. I know, because just when I thought I would never, ever be able to have my own beautiful, non-imaginary baby, it happened.

And just so you know, I hesitated to write that first sentence, but I felt prompted. And I typed it anyway because I believe it to be true.