What?!?

In an what I can only describe as an act of hostility, I just peed on a stick. A pregnancy test to be exact. I feel like I am losing my mind.
Despite the fact that I had my period less than two weeks ago, and I currently feel all the crappy symptoms of ovulation, and I might be rocking the swine flu, I just marched up upstairs, grabbed that sucker and peed all over it.
And then upon seeing the negative sign appear I felt all imperialistic and vindicated, like I had just won a heated intellectual argument. In my head I was like "See I told you I wasn't pregnant." And then I do the neck and head bob like I have seen sassy black women on the CW do. "MMmm HHmm."

Crazies shouldn't have babies anyway.