Wednesday, June 10, 2009
What a boob
I have occasional throbbing pain in my right breast toward my armpit area. Occasional is probably even an overstatement because it will go away for months at a time, allowing me to forget it even happened. - Until it happens again and I feel like an idiot for never seeing a doc in the first place. I am the type that jumps to the worst conclusion for any minor malady. Last year I had a paper cut that healed too slowly and I went to be tested for diabetes because my self afflicted WebMD diagnosis was very convincing. Actual diagnosis: I am not diabetic, but I probably need a hobby to distract me from paper cuts. So basically, yes I do care about my health, but I have a tendency to over-obsess and I am more afraid of seeming hypochondriac than anything else. So apparently my mode is simply ignore possibly important body signals. Oh, and did I mention that I also have a breast lump in that same area? I am making myself sound even more stupid now. But the excuse is that I actually was seen for that same lump in the same area five years ago, and my excellent lady doc didn't feel what I was feeling. And hey, it has been four years without incident. Also, since I cannot even find the dang lump consistently, I assume it will be fruitless to let the doc check it out. And ironically, when I saw my handsome/maddening new gyno for the endo related stuff, the first time he layed a hand on that exact spot he looked alarmed and said "Are you aware you have a breast lump" and I saw my life flashed before my eyes, and then he squooshed my other melon and said "oh no, you just have dense breasts." Phew. Oh yeah, and I have even enlisted H in the inspections and on the rare occasion we have felt the lump, (and my life flashed before my eyes again) we then found the exact same lump on the other side, making me again feel like a fool again. So bottom line, I will go to the doctor soon. Even if the pain goes away. Even if I feel like a fool.