Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Old Dog

Have you ever watched movies about animals where there seems to always be an old wise dog and then a young, yippy, hyper dog? I can only think of Homeward Bound off the top of my head, but I think this is a familiar genera and theme.

Well I am the old dog. Yes I love to think myself wise. But more its just that I have been going through this crap for so long I find myself barely tolerating the young infertility pups nipping at my ears while I am just trying to chill on the ground.

I hope I haven't lost my compassion - because I don't think I will EVER change my opinion that the first two years were the worst. But I find myself not being very helpful with my young infertile friends. I find myself mostly just listening to their barks or whines, and then offering nothing to them, because what I have to offer is my truth, my experience, which will A: be completely different than theirs, and only frustrate the situation. B: Be so depressing it won't serve to help at all.

If I were to tell my truth to the puppy it would be: You are annoying. You are over thinking. You are over-stressed. And you will have no control over your annoying, over-thinking, stressed out ways. And not one second of doing this, or not doing this will create a baby. And there are so many ways to have a baby, but for some of us there are more ways to not have a baby. For some this journey will be acute, and short, and for some it will be a marathon, and there is no predicting what course you will get. If you make it nearly to the end of the marathon - you may end up looking just like me. Old, lazy, tired, and maybe wise in the worst ways. I think this is why I just have been keeping my mouth shut lately. Nobody wants to be an old dog. I am not the poster child of happy fertility sagas.


Natalee said...

I think those truths that you've discovered can only be learned through experience. The thing is if you could tell them those things and they would accept them their lives would be all the better for it!

Alisha said...

I always think how this very thing is one of life's great ironies... we don't & CAN'T really "get it" until we've been through it. Perception is reality. It's the same way adults feel about children sometimes. It's what we know we were as teenagers... those who thought we "got it." But as we became adults, we realized we had no idea & how annoying we must have been.

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