My new clinic uses the World Health Organization standards for semen analysis, which are different from the criteria used on the old test, (Krueger Strict for morph) so straight comparisons were going to be tough anyway, but here is the verdict: We are now the proud parents of a penetrated hamster egg!
My new RE uses the ultra techno savvy method of checking your swimmers by taking a hamster egg, dumping semen on top of it, and letting nature take its course. Yes, it is disturbing to refer to "nature" regarding the mixing of Human and Hamster, but apparently hamster eggs are very similar to human eggs, and of course there is no X-man way that it is genetically viable for a man to impregate a hamster. However that said, if all crazy were to break lose, and I were to be the proud mother of a Humster, i vow that I would love and care for it, and hide it from the government the way every good mother of a freak should.
I thought this hamster egg thing was the most bizarre thing I had ever heard, and told everyone I ran into about it, so let's cross our fingers my first biological child does not have a big ears or a semi mouse face. Poor kid will never live it down.
The other verdict: Hubby had stellar results across the board. I have to say how disconcerting this is. Was the original test wrong, is this one wrong, or should I be celebrating this mini miracle? During the week long wait between the test and the results, I had gone through a lot of self therapy and had revved myself up for the bad results and the reality that IVF is our next step, so when Hubby told me the good news I congratulated him and burst in to tears. It had been a really hard, transformational week - for nuttin. My psyche just couldn't take it. Thank heavens I don't really have a humster baby to take care of at home. I need some me time.