A large part of why this blog is currently private is because I am aware that I don't always see things the way they really are, and I need to be able to vent my crazy, and then read it later to compare reality to perception. I want to be able to execute this process and not hurt any well meaning people in the process.
Truth: I did go ape$&^!#! crazy over my perception that my sweet mom was not wishing for me what I was wishing for myself (see prior posts). However, in retrospect I am thinking my mothers "disconnect" may have actually been my own disconnect - with reality.
Victory: I recently had a candid phone melt-down with my mom about my desire to adopt older kids, and how I perceived that some people thought I was crazy for this. Boy did she ever rally! I feel so free and liberated now. My mom loves me more than anyone on Earth does, and I forget, or don't tolerate the fact that she probably hurts for me worse and more often than I hurt for myself.
Reality is I am a girl with a very wonderful mother.