Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Charter - redo

There are roles we all play in our marriages. According to H mine is the irresponsible flake. I take advantage of this label often i.e. I like that H thinks I am too big of a screw-up to be trusted with bill paying. Other than that, I get sick of the bad rap.

Because I temporarily lost my endo symptoms after my laparascopy, I got all official about charting again. (Temperature, symptoms, mucous, other fun stuff. ) Well, actually H got all serious about charting. (YES H, WE HAVEN'T HAD A BABY IN FOUR YEARS OF TRYING BECAUSE I HAD NOT PROPERLY SCHEDULED THE MEETING OF THE EGG IN SPERM IN MY DAY PLANNER. IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN!) Since the very thought of tracking crap again created a big heavy dread ball in my stomach, I decided to trick myself that it was going to be fun by buying a frog themed planner that even had stickers and stuff. I was ready to roll. I was ready to prove H wrong:

It lasted less than two months.

Irritatingly, H, knowing me all too well had secretly purchased his own planner, (the kind for people who will really use them apparently), and had begun tracking things on his own. Angry, I waived the flag of surrender, and appointed him as the official Charter.


Each morning I shove a thermometer in my mouth before I roll out of bed, and each morning I see him check the last read and record it in his little planner. Each night he gets out his little journal and very seriously asks me detailed questions about my pain. For the first time, I feel like I have a partner in this biz! He is so cute and serious, and even sympathetic. The other night he said "wow babe, you are in pain most days of the month". It was kind of him to notice, but I think that all people adapt to whatever their normal is. My normal is random crazy pain most days of the month. I thanked him, but told him sympathy made me sad, then I cried, then I was fine. He charted that too. I love that guy.


Jennifer said...

He gets husband of the year. And you get flake poser of the year. You aren't flaky; you are smart to ditch torture. Do you let him help with the mucous? Is that TMI? JK!

Liz said...

That H is a keeper.
How does he track the mucous? I must know!

Court said...

That H is good folks. It's always nice to have back-up from your favorite person.

Sorry this is so sucky for you. 4 years is a long time. I can relate. I vividly remember feeling very frustrated and angry after trying for so long and seeing teenagers pushing their easily, even accidentally, conceived babies in strollers. Rude and judgmental, I know. But that was where I was at.

Eventually I got over myself. I finally released the guilt, frustration, and the scarcity mentality. It didn't mean we weren't trying. I figured out it wasn't really up to me. Controlling, planner-carrying, angst-ridden me handed the burden over to the Lord.

I keep a prayer in my heart for you. I really truly believe that God has something marvelous in store for y'all.