I want to give up a little secret. -Or other people's little secrets, I guess.
Those people who chose not to have kids -
And say they prefer cats
or that they want to put their career first
or that they'd rather spoil their neices and nephews,
or that they'd rather have a dog - because dogs are easier than kids...
Most of the time...
They are lying.
I believe this, because I have said similarly stupid, shallow sounding things. It is my way to quickly dismiss inquiries or judgements I don't want to to deal with.
I also believe it because I have become a confessional booth for childless people. I guess they consider me one of them.
Some friends have said those stupid shallow things because they didn't want to admit to family and friends that their marriage was falling apart.
Another said those stupid things because she didn't want to go into the issue that she wanted a baby, but feared that her husband with debilitating A.D.D. might not get a job, when and if he finished school.
Another older, rich and fab coworker who says those stupid things anytime ANYONE mutters something about kids admitted how she struggled with the decision of whether to have kids, decided not too, and was nearly crushed with sadness and jealousy when her stepdaughter had a baby. She loved her little grandbaby, and still beats herself up about her decision.
Sometimes shallowness masks things that go deep.