I find it very cool that infertility has forced H and I outside of the box when we think about family building. We are not limited by age, or gender, or race. We will just do what feels right when it feels right. It is a realistic possibility that my first child could be a teenager. Or that none of my kids will look like me. The limitations we do have are that always looming biological clock; it will dictate when, and how we do IVF. The second limitation is financial. At this point neither of us are willing to adopt or foster a young child until we have a biological child. The leap from working to stay at home foster or adoptive mom seems really enormous, but for some reason, the leap from working to staying at home with a bio newborn seems necessity, and to adopt when I am already SAHM anyway doesn't seems like less of a leap.
I genuinely love that I can have such an open/abstract picture of family. H has really come around in the last year too. I found sweet looking sibling group of teenagers the other day, and have been imagining them in our lives. At first it is fun, and I can even mentally handle the worst case scenarios I run through in my head; the thing that always gets me is the actual logistics, the actual cost, the actual human beings behind the cute smiles. That is when I get scared and start thinking about less monumental topics, such as what to eat for dinner.
But no matter how scary, or crazy the idea is, reality is already nuts for those kids. I don't know what happened to their parents: But they are up for adoption because NO ONE, not a single relative, friend of the family, teacher, clergyman, neighbor had the guts to take them in. So the only people they have in the world are their siblings, and they can't even have that because siblings are so difficult to place. The oldest brother who is almost 16 plans to adopt his siblings when he is emancipated. It is scary how focused a 15 year old boy is on a "dream" that is a right to most.