The prize for most overdramatic reaction goes to 4'8" mother in law. She met us at the door when we reached her house. She gave us both hugs and seemed to not know what to say other than "I love you two". Well my tiny little mother in law packs a punch in terms of hysteria and worries due to the her anxiety disorder, and she has found a really great drug coctail that even allows her to go on car rides without hissing through her teeth while clawing the seats, eyes closed. It has also kept some of the more dramatic lost dog episodes in the past. (Unfortunately for anyone who has heard those stories, as they are gems). However, not even the pharmaceutical finest could have kept this episode at bay:
Within less than five minutes she escalated from minor weeping and hugging to "WHY DID THIS HAPPEN!? (screaming and fist shaking) HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU NEED! (googly-eyed desparation) WHEN CAN YOU START AGAIN? (wild eyed and pacing) Break.
At this point H tries to interupt saying, "Mother, we don't even know if we can or will do this again, we need to talk to the doctor first." I am thinking "So this is how magical checks are written - under extreme duress. How much will a massage in Greece help my fertility?" We are both cut off by her next thought: "AUNT NINA GAVE ME A PAPER WITH THE NAME OF THE DOCTOR WHO HELPED JENNA SAUSILITO IN THE 2ND WARD GET PREGNANT WITH TWINS (hunting through piles of paper) IT'S GOT TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE (frantically hunting through piles of paper) HIS NAME WAS JAPANESE. OR MAYBE IT WAS INDIAN. ARE THERE ANY DOCTORS IN SALT LAKE WHO ARE JAPANESE OR INDIAN. I THINK I WILL KNOW IT WHEN YOU SAY IT. WHAT WERE THE NAMES OF YOUR DOCTORS. OH I CAN'T FIND IT. NAME YOUR DOCTORS. START NAMING OFF ALL YOUR DOCTORS. NAME ALL THE DOCTORS IN SALT LAKE! (throwing papers, running from room to room.)
Fortunately we were able to quickly calm her down by assuring her all doctors have the same statistics and there really was no magical doctor who only creates pregnant patients with twins. I also asked some gardening questions about when to plant peas. She never did return to writing a blank check.
Though funny and sad at the same time, I was touched by the hysteria. I have only seen that level when the beloved Boston Terrier was lost on a snowy evening. And she LOOOOOOOVES that dog. So I guess this was proof of how much she loves us too.