BFN=Big Fat Negative. There are all kinds of crazy abbreviations in the IF world.
Thanks to everyone. Every one of you said the perfect thing.
I had a cavity that needed fixing this weekend which necessitated a weekend stay with my in-laws. Probably not the best place for being sad or working through it, but maybe that is why it seemed to work well. I didn't know how to be sad. I don't know how to work through it.
It was very weird to have to, in various ways, tell the 10 or more family members who were privy to the not so secret mission of the last couple months. I had read it was really stupid to tell very many people because it made the failures harder. I have nothing to compare this event to, but I have found that sharing sad news with people who love you just isn' t that bad. Everyone reacted very differently, but bottom line was I felt really loved.