Saturday, January 10, 2009


A work friend announced she is expecting at our book club last night. I was genuinely happy for her, haven't had any delayed depression yet, and discovered something sort of disturbing about my self.

We are all accountants so timing of all things pregnancy are especially important to us. We have seasonal work, so with careful timing, you can avoid working long hours while bursting at the seams with baby. Of course, insurance coverage, maternity leave, etc, are important issues as well.

Here is the disturbing part: In a room of peers, I was the only one who didn't have a clue what 14 weeks along means, when to start "trying" in order to have a baby during the perfect window, what our insurance covers for pregnancies, and if we even have maternity leave! I also was being 100% truthful when I said I didn't know if I would work after I had a baby. I HAVE COMPLETELY CHECKED OUT! I don't know any of this, I don't care about any of this. And though this was initially disturbing to me, I have already concluded that I am perfectly normal. Would a man know about all this stuff? Probably not, so why would I?

One might think that a girl who is trying to have a baby would know all the answers to the items above, and believe me, 5 years ago I did. I knew every work related, money related baby stat, and I had my plan mapped out in scientific detail. But my brain only focuses on and stores things that are relevant. None of those things are relevant. I am have not been in "what happens when I get pregnant territory" for years. So I have thrown away that map. I will buy a new one when I need it. Right now I am too busy charting my course here in the Barren Lands.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

That makes complete sense to me. It's interesting when our feelings are brought to our attention in that way. I think its human nature to only plan the things that are in our control to plan. Then when things come up that were not in our control and we weren't expecting, we plan accordingly. Does that even make sense?