...a niece or a nephew. My little sister is indeed pregnant, and she did indeed heed my neurotic request to tell me first, over the phone. It was really nice of her to accomodate me. I have known since sometime before Christmas. I haven't written about it because it has taken me a while to separate my sadness from my happiness, and though she doesn't read this blog to my knowledge, I am finally grasping the concept that ugly things written are still ugly even if the person you are addressing will never know. I don't think I had a truly ugly thing to say about her or her baby, but my mind was in such a dark place I feared what would come out of my mouth.
My sis certainly deserves better than that. So I waited. And now I am OK with talking about it. I had anticipated having a hard time with the news, but didn't really know the large and unexplainable slump and stupor it would put me in to.
She made up T shirts to surprise the family on Christmas day. I was so eternally grateful I couldn't be there for Christmas. I would have lost something important if I had been there that day. I am not sure what exactly, but it felt critical during that slump to not allow myself to lose anything. Tact and sanity included.