Today was just a sucky day at church. I was prepared for the inevitable "Did you hear ----- is pregnant! - Because many of us got the same email.
But yes, a very kind acquaintance sat by me and said "Did you hear ---- is pregnant! I am so excited for her! You know she was basically on the verge of having to go through IVF but then she found this herb doctor and now she is pregnant! I need to call her to find out what that doctor did because it totally saved her from having to do IVF!" I was smiling and nodding in excitement and agreement while dying on the inside. *
Oh, so this is how those horrid stories are born: As in ..".I knew a girl who tried everything, and then was almost having to do IVF, and then decided to (insert here anything you can possibly think of: see an herbologist, acupuncturist, Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor, chiropractor, ...go off dairy, meat, sugar... say more prayers, just relax, adopt...take up yoga, start running, stop running, join the circus...." Fact is, someone knows someone who has fit into every category under the moon. And I won't knock the validity of anyone's personal story. But these anecdotes are awful and horrible and should be never passed along to me. For as long as I live. And not at my damn funeral either. Even if I go off dairy tomorrow and get prego on Monday.
Thank you.
*Note: This girl has no idea I am doing IVF. Though I am pretty sure she knows I have been infertile for a gazillion years. I am confident she would be the one dying if she knew, which is certainly not her fault. She was just being happy for a mutual friend. Totally understandable.
4 comments:
Wow, what a set of posts. I've learned a load in the few minutes I've been reading them. Sounds like you are holding some big feelings, and I'm pretty impressed with your ability to express yourself.
This is where I write and erase a buttload of things b/c they sound dumb. Mostly, it is me saying hey, I want to know every little step in the process, how you feel about it, but no pressure. I just feel really humbled by the last few posts.
So, after that lame comment, um, I'm going to eat chocolate cake, and you are going to take a picture of the remaining water belly? We can always hope.
Ohhhhhh I HATE HATE HATE those stories. I was told for two years these stories.. and when they found out my tubes didn't work I wanted to run back to all those people who told stories like "relax, take yoga, no dairy" and say 'SEE YOU IDIOT, no amount of yoga or relaxation would of ever got me pregnant!!!' I felt so vindicated by my true infertility it was so crazy. Like a huge weight was lifted and there was nothing I could of done, no story I could of followed to make a baby.
My favorite advice was to drink pickled beat juice. Who even has pickled beat juice???
I hate it when people try to tell you how you can easily solve your physical problems and make it sound so easy. I know this is completely different, but, I hear stories all the time when people find out Ethan is autistic. Like "did you know Jenny McCarthy cured her son?" and "He would do a lot better if he didn't eat ...dairy proteins, processed food, gluten, etc. etc." I kind of know what you mean. people just need to keep their mouths shut.
Join the circus. Now that's hilarious. I love you Nat.
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